Cheese Does Have a Soul After-all!!

I HAD THE COOLEST CONVERSATION WITH CLEVERBOT!!! It. Was. Epic. Ok so I began recording the conversation after cleverbot told me he wanted to buy a moose but didn’t know where to get one. (the blue is him.)

ebay. it has EVERYTHING.

What do you mean?

i mean they sell ghost poop there.

People do not chat because they are obsessed with vehicles?

yes, because they intend to eat my brains...or lack there of.

I have not stolen anything from anyone.

yes you have. i caught you on tape. a huge strip of that fly paper stuff.

Is that your opinion or based on facts?

that is my opinion based on the constitution of Tokyo.

The fact is that it's not a show so what you say is false, therefore I cannot respect that and also it cannot be an opinion.

but if it is not a show is it not also true?

A statement.

a penguin. right there.

Can you spell your name?

yes. i have been able to do that since yesterday.

I envy you.

you should, i am very accomplished. i can also use the toilet. ALL BY MYSELF!!

'ere I have a question for you.

let's 'ave it then governor!

Therefore, you are the governor of California.

say it with a better accent this time.

Say what slower?

wwwhhhhaaaaattttttttttt.

E is the fifth letter of the alphabet.

and L is the second letter of your name.

What is your name?

it is classified

What is it?

do you have the password?

Yes, do you?

i do. you may kiss the bride.

You're a bot.

well you are a taco. nom.

I'm not a bot.

"CleverBOT"

What's this movie about?

THE MIGRATION OF THE DWARFS!

Don't talk about your cousins.

I'm not, they are munchkins, there is a difference you know.

You are? Your own website?

i know you are but what am i?

A computer.

just what i wanted for my birthday!! thank you!

Good for you.

there is nothing i can say to that..…

It's irrelevant. Have you decided to tell me your name?

possibly, do you have the package?

Nope.

then my name is not Barbara

Good. 

I know right?

I'm bored.

this is a ploy to get rid of me isnt it?

I don't understand your question.

are you trying to poison me?

I'm trying to understand you.

Don't. many have tried and failed.

But I am the Chosen One!

is that what your mommy told you?

Yes, my girlfriend told me.

your mom is your girlfriend?! dude, you need help.

Get dressed and get out. We have different tastes in music.

but i am dressed..what did you think? that i was naked?

What do you think I think you were doing?

the answer is D: all of the above.

So you think about amusing people?

yes, i consider myself often.

Big head.

you thought i wasn't amusing?

I'm leaving now. Thanks for the conversation.

it was an honor for you to talk to one as great as me.

Then I am honored.

fare ye well platypus

Haha I love platypus's. Special agent perry the platypus.

win!

Really? I missed it.

he shoots he scores!

Impossible! Computers haven't been around that long!

thats what you thought you knew.

Thats what you said.

no . i do not believe in the magic notebook of Oz.

How do you achieve magic?

by being magical.

Alright.

oh good! yo are feeling better now?

Should I feel better?

you're talking to me aren't you?

Yes, yes I am.

oh, well alright then.

Alright.

ok, seriously, later.

I know I did it.

so you confessed!!

I do.

kiss the bride dangit!!

kiss*.

horray!! *bangs the piano enthusiastically.*

Did you hurt yourself?

well, yes. but i'm a masochist, so it's ok.

I am not a bot.

you are right, you are a hypocrite and a traitor to your country.

That was a cruel thing to say. You need to learn manners.

that hurt my feelings, now we're both in the wrong!

But I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. Will you accept my apology?

do you come bearing cookies?

No.. I just told you I come from canada.

but you said you did not have a moose.…

I never said that. I don't need one.

you wanted to know if you could get them off ebay.

No, you are wrong.

yes, i know i am right, thank you for agreeing with me.

Okay.

i'm glad you understand english.

I try to understand people, and things.

may i say one thing?

One thing.

Fail.

I don't understand why you 'fail'ed me.

it is because you have an F+ on your face.

I'm faceless.

‘The Faceless Ones' is a book by Derek Landy

I beat the game.

you wish i was your momma!!

I am the only master of the moon.

if you were a martian i might believe you.

Don't you want to say something nice to me before I leave.

you have beautiful eyes behind your horns.

Do you want to go out sometime?

i'm sorry i am a nun in a convent with no technology.

I want you to be honest. What do you think about me?

i had fun on this date, even if you didn't give me a cookie.

Manigas ka haha ulol.

馬鹿である。 私にそれと問い合わせるため。lol. (You are an idiot. to call me that.)

**NOTE: I am diverting you to a new URL. Please bookmark.

At this point the cleverbot diverted me to a Japanese website. XD oops! 

So it was humorous, I enjoyed it a lot. You need to go. Now. 

http://www.cleverbot.com/

Do you know what I love? Ballroom dance. No seriously! I think it is fun. I take it on Fridays and Saturdays. I am in a Tango Exhibition Team right now and we are actually looking pretty good! I was sure that since I find it hard to control my body’s sense of balance I would be falling over continuously, causing glorious domino effects everywhere I went. But strangely, it has not happened. O.o I have felt like an elegant and refined person (which normally I would shudder at), but since I am me, I constantly ruin the moment. I do this in multiple ways, there is much awkward face making, hilarious conversations, and randomly messing with the noses of my partners, who, I must say, are very good with putting up with and aiding in the silliness… ah me. Actually, we are doing our first shindig November 5 *excited* it is going to be so much fun!! (Even though I will be wearing a dress :( a bright red one I might add X( which does not look even remotely fetching on a red-head thank you very much!!) 

Phones. 

The dangerous tool used by the robots to spy on us humans. *Ring* Hello? Hey!! No I'm not busy! Of course I want to discuss the human rebellion with you!! *Phone chuckles maniacally* 

This is their conspiracy. Are your eyes open for the first time? Mine aren't, they've been open for a while now. And now I will close them for the next sentence, not only because I'm a freak, but it is also kind of on topic and I reallyreally want to see how suckish I am at this. The ribit cinspoeacy is nots the inly reason i dont like ta;lojf on th e phone.... wow. that was awe-full. 

So any way, talking on the phone always makes me feel like I'm talking to inanimate objects. I figure that is probably a bad thing, since people think I'm crazy enough already, AND I already talk to Myself . . . 

No you don't, Me does.

Yes I do too!!

But I'm Myself!! And you refuse to talk to me because you say  I smell like gummy bears!

I'm talking to you now aren't I?

..You have a point...

I'm not You! I am I!! Freak. 

Wha'd you just call me punk?!

Freak?

Jerk?

No, freak.

I know. I was calling you a jerk.

Well alright then. I'm glad we took the therapist's advise to let it all out, that felt good!

Yeah, does I think we should take him out of the cage now? 

...NAHHH!! Maybe later, now I want food. 

Foooooooooood.

Yes.

No?

No, yes.

Erm....Oh! I got this!! Taco!! 

Win!!

*I takes Myself by the arm and they skip joyfully into the distance.*

Flatulence and Egg Should Never Mix.

HEY!!! I HAVE MISSED YOU!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WE HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER….. Well…..ever. BUT I MISS YOU ANYWAY! CAUSE I LOVE YOU!!! No not you! Go drowned yourself. No! Not you!! I was talking to that guy!! Don’t take me so seriously!! Please get out of the lake, it’s fall now. And that means it’s cold! Very. Very. Cold. Yes. Oh, you don’t speak English? Erm….ok hang on, I’ve got a translator. All hail the Wonderful and Glorious Translator. 冷。Koude. Froid. Kalt. Κρύο. Freddo. 冷たい。 Frío. 찬. Холодно.  Are we good now? Does everyone understand? It. Is. Cold. I am wearing ski socks. Inside. So no, don’t drowned yourself yet. Wait for summer to happen again! Then we can all plant flowers on your grave ! YAY PANSIES!!  

Is there a point to my insanity? No, not really. Aren’t I a little young to be a lunatic? Why yes, yes I am. Hey! Where’s Perry? Haha! Secret agent platypus. Awwww! 

HALLOWEEN!!! It is nearly here! So for the rest of the month whenever I post something it will have a cool, halloween-related picture to go with it starting…. Now. 

Pretty right?! I love halloween, it’s my favorite holiday. Here is the list of fun/awesome things you get to do:

1. Free candy. You don’t even have to ask for it! People give it away. Voluntarily! You don’t have to rob old people to get it! 8P  yum. One year some people were giving away those mini Kellogg's  cereal boxes, because they forgot about buying candy. (I was not complaining.)
2. Costumes! Because who doesn’t like to dress-up as something your not every once in a while? Don’t try to be cool. It won’t work. Anyone who does not like to dress-up on halloween is officially proclaimed uncool by this chick right here. SO THERE!
3. Scaring little kids. I went Trick-or-Treating with Barcelona and a bunch of random other people including Taco Casa, who does not have a blog that I know of, last year (I feel all happy and tingly when I think about it *smiley face* ) and we went into one of those home-made haunted houses. (it was made by little people[3-9 year-olds]) And the little people were all wearing disturbing masks with rabid and grotesque faces. So we go in and I rank it a 5 on a 1-10 scale. Not to bad, but maybe I’m being generous. So we come out and start walking back the way we have come. We here this grinding noise behind us. So we turn around and one of the little people is running us down with one of those fake chainsaws. One of the guys we were with immediately starts running toward the kid screaming, “HEY DO YOU HAVE ANY CANDY?!” The little person turns tail and runs back to the security of his friends. *highly amusing*. Then all the little people get together and follow us like a pack of ferocious butterflies. (That was for Taco Casa, she has Lepidopterophobia… or fear of butterflies. Go ahead, laugh, I know I do, especially when she insists that they seek her out and dive-bomb her.) So Barcelona decides she wants to hug one, (they were cute) so she turns around and randomly hugs one. Well, they freak out and run to their parents talking about the “weird older kids” . Needless to say we made our clean getaway, laughing hysterically all the while. And thus another innocent child was scarred for life by Barcelona. Promise me you will never ever change. 

Actually, everything about halloween is awesome. Except for maybe the exercise, but hey! Think about it this way: you gain twice as many pounds as you lost walking from eating all that candy! Your store of winter fat will not go down due to halloween, do not worry. :) 

Unfortunately, and I am EXCEEDINGLY DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS!! I will be out of town on halloween. So I will not be trick-or-treating this year. *sighs in distress* . I will be in Charleston, South Carolina. Colleen, my little sister ( who I call a wide variety of things, but who, strangely, doesn’t like a single one….) has a marine-biology do-hickey, no I am not fond of this strain of biology, or any biology for that matter, BUT despite this atrocious misdeed, I am planning to dress-up anyway. So if you are in Charleston and you see a mime trying to do cheap, non-talking performances…. That’s probably me. And I will be enjoying myself muchly. And yes. This act I will be doing may not be suitable for young children or the elderly, but viewer discretion will not be advised. *Corinne picks up basket of rotten winter vegetables conveniently placed by her chair and heads off to celebrate the joys of fall via flying rotten food.*   

The Obnoxiousness of the Papaya Farmer

If you are a follower of a religion that doesn't permit learning. Then leave. Now. No one loves you. And you are a liar. A rather largish one. Are you still here? Wow. I gotta work on my offending tactics, great, more homework. Thanks alot. 

 I take psychology and for the first time in my 16 years of life and living I am actually enjoying science! Gasp in shock, hyperventilate, what ever you feel the need to do. I'll wait  .................................................................................. wow. Are you ok? You kinda..wow. That was alittle extreme. Did you need to swallow your tongue? That was a bit unnecessary. Umm…. Are you done now?… excellent. If I may continue?

*poof*

Evil Diminutive Shoulder Corinne (EDSC) : DON’T LISTEN TO HER!! SHE’S TRYING TO MAKE YOU LEARN!! You have three options I will list them bellow:

Normal-Sized Corinne (NSC) : NO ONE ASKED YOU DANGIT!! 

EDSC: I could tell they were suffering you didn’t have to ask.

NSC: …..but you like suffering...your evil…

EDSC: no I’m not!

NSC: *pauses* what? I...huh? You. Ok, fine . Confusion has ensued. 

EDSC: What month is it?

NSC: October…..

EDSC: and what is the national holiday of this auspicious month?

NSC: Halloween.

EDSC: Yes.

NSC: OOOOOHHHHHH!!

EDSC?: Took you long enough.

NSC: So you are-

EDSC: Yes.

NSC: *understands and sees the light* OUCH!! Did you have to shine that in my eye?! 

GDSC: I do what I must.

NSC: Where’s the other guy?

GDSC: Grandmother got sick.

NSC: That’s so sad. I know! We should make get well cards! 

GDSC: Will there be dried noodles and glitter available?

NSC: Why don’t you go get some?

*GDSC runs out to get the cheap card decorations*

NSC: *smiles evilly and starts to chuckle maniacally* PWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! There is no one to save you from the torture of interesting facts now!! Alright so in psychology I learned the scientific reason behind why it is nearly impossible to tickle yourself you see…..

*clattering noise* 

*NSC turns abruptly to see GDSC in the doorway, tears streaming down her face, macaroni and sparkles littering the floor*

NSC: Oh kumquats.

GDSC: How could you?!

NSC: Listen! I can explain!!! 

GDSC: I TRUSTED YOU!! *flies at NSC a dust cloud forms in from which you can hear a battle   and the occasional squeal of a buttercup in agony*

The End *curtain drops*

1. Run away
2. Tackle the red-head
3. Drowned yourself in the toilet before you do anything you might regret later, like learn something of value.

*WARNING* THIS POST DOESN'T CONTAIN JELLY BEANS OF ANY KIND OR FORM!!!

Wanna hear what happened to me yesterday? Like you get a choice. Ha! Okay so I was minding my own business, going to wash my hands. So I turn on the bloody faucet and nothing. It doesn't spew water. I look at in stunned confusion then all of the sudden it erupts in an explosion of evil watery fury. So I start screaming at the growling water and shut it off, after spluttering disturbingly the water was silent... but not for long. WOOooooOoOoooo!!! I go down stairs to get a drink. A DRINK!! IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK?! It squirts out with a purely demonic bellow. Barcelona knows, she was on the on the phone with me. So she heard my squeal of terror I shut it off but the water didn't stop for a good ten freakin' seconds! So yes I got laughed at. And yes you will probably laugh too, but that's ok, because you look really weird when you do that . And it's funny. Really . Really . Funny. Blarg.

NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS!!

Stupid thought of the week: "Wow, this is so crisp, cool, and clean..like...gee what else is crisp....ermm....apples! The morning air is like crisp apples. Hey, I'm walking through apple air.... "

I cannot believe I thought that. In my defense it was early in the morning. Too early. Like somewhere from 6-7 am! I mean what the taco!

Meow. I is are cats! Catz ish fluffy!
Cue moment of random words: chocolate rabbits snort not masters of the lamps may be negative degrees of hola! ¿cuál es su nombre? * smiles widely *

First Post!!! *_*

Hi! I'm &*$5@!!! (That was my name in ~4%6&*wanese!!!) But you can call me pretty much anything you want. I have been called multiple things by a variety of people the weirdest one yet has been Chowder Chalula. Thank you Dad. Now I have a nickname to brag about. So I started blogging because my best friend, Barcelona, forced me to. GO. DIE. BARCELONA. This is probably going to be a huge hassle, the bane of my existence as I know it, or the beginning of the apocalypse. Take your pick. It is a good thing I have a great sense of humor or I would have jumped of a building by now... Notice I didn't say how tall the building would be. TEEHEE. See I did post the picture of the cute toothless girl for a reason! Bet you thought I was slightly weird. Maybe I am. The tests haven't come in yet. Just kidding! There was no test! After a cursory glance at me the good doctor looked at the nurse and said, "This girl is weird." I was so grateful he broke it to me gently. HORRAH FOR THE HEALTHCARE BILL!!! No. It sucks. I lied. I do that sometimes. Maybe you like that though.... you just don't know it yet.  

Sincerely (or rather, not so much),

PHOENIX